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Divorce Products > CPD Co-Parenting Guide > CPD Table of Contents
 Cooperative Parenting and Divorce:
A Parent Guide to Effective Co-Parenting
 
Table of Contents
(186 pages)
 
1. Child Focused or Out of Focus
Making a Commitment to Care
 
 Learning to be Child Focused                                                    
 Why Conflict Hurts                                                                     
 What’s the Cost?  
 Commitment to Caring Contract                                               
 A Child’s Reactions to Divorce                                                 
 
Exercises:
  • Hopes and Dreams                                                                  
  • Create An Action Plan                                                               
  • Love Isn’t Easy . . . How Far Will You Go?                               
  • Divorce Rules                                                                           
  • My Parenting Concerns                                                            
 
2. Plan For Peace or Tug of War
Allowing My Child to Love Both Parents
 
Forced to Choose (Loyalty Bind)                                              
When a Child is Caught in the Middle                                       
What If There Were Only One Parent?                                    
Two Parents Are Better Than One                                           
Positive Qualities of the Co-Parent                                           
Through My Child’s Eyes                                                           
Allow Your Child to Love Both Parents                                      
Keeping Your Child Out of the Middle                                        
When Your Child is Manipulating                                               
On the Receiving End of a Note                                                
Your Child Refuses to Visit or Talk                                            
Don’t Burden Your Child with Your Needs                                 
Tips for Easing Transitions                                                        
Creating Two Homes                                                                 
 
Exercises:
  • Truth or Consequences                                                            
  • Loyalty Binds: What Can I Do Differently?                                
  • Loyalty Bind Contract                                                                
  • Allowing My Child to Love Both Families                                  
 
3.Letting Go or Holding On                                                                
Changing My Long-Term Role
 
Individual Role                                                                           
Parenting Role                                                                           
Child-Rearing Decisions Activity                                               
Family Role                                                                                
Letting Go                                                                                   
Divorce and Grief                                                                       
Memory Activity                                                                          
Forgiveness                                                                               
Disengaging                                                                               
Attached versus Detached                                                        
Engaged through Revenge                                                        
Engaged through Hope                                                              
Decision to Let Go                                                                    
Letting-Go Rituals                                                                     
Disengagement Contract                                                           
 
Exercises:                                                                                   
  • Emotions Log                                                                           
  • Attachment Scale                                                                     
  • Marriage Certificate                                                                  
 
4.  Make it Better or Keep it Bitter
Choosing My Personal Path
 
Realignment                                                                             
 Characteristics of a Business Relationship                            
 Obstacles to Realignment                                                       
 Assumptions                                                                            
 Expectations                                                                            
 Language                                                                                 
 Refusal to Realign                                                                   
 “Poor Me”                                                                                 
 Control                                                                                     
 Revenge                                                                                   
 Position vs Interest                                                                   
 STP-A Technique                                                                     
 
Exercises:                                                                                   
  • My Business-Like Behaviors                                                    
  • Confusion of Mixed Messages                                                 
  • Clarifying Boundaries                                                               
 
5.  Neither Fight Nor Take Flight
Managing My Anger
 
Activity: What Is Anger                                                              
Activity: Signs of Anger                                                             
Activity: My First Signs of Anger                                               
Anger Triggers                                                                          
Anger Progression                                                                    
Expressions of Anger                                                                 
Anger: Helpful or Hurtful                                                            
Constructive Uses of Anger                                                      
Constructive Use of Anger Activity                                            
Destructive Uses of Anger                                                        
Anger is a Choice                                                                      
What to Do to Manage Your Anger                                           
Beliefs and Thoughts                                                                
Recognizing Beliefs Activity                                                      
Changing Distorted Beliefs                                                        
Escalating Triggers                                                                 
Challenging Beliefs                                                                 
Anger Dos and Don’ts                                                            
Anger and Children                                                                 
 
Exercises:                                                                                   
  • Understanding Your Emotions                                                
  • Let’s Practice                                                                           
  • Identifying Current Triggers
  • Learning New Reactions                                                         
  • Taking Control of My Anger                                                      
 
6.  Defuse or Light the Fuse
Taking Control of Conflict
 
Lighting the Fuse                                                                     
Tone of Voice                                                                           
Body Language                                                                        
Words that Light Fires                                                              
Fueling the Fire                                                                        
Your Hot Buttons                                                                       Defensiveness                                                                         
Counterattack                                                                           
Fire Prevention                                                                         
The 3 “Ws”                                                                               
The 3 “Ps”                                                                                
Avoid Playing with Matches                                                     
How to Defuse Conflict                                                            
Listen and Reflect                                                                    
“I” Statements                                                                          
 
Exercises:                                                                                  
 
  • “I” Statements Log                                                                     
  • Descriptive Feelings                                                                
  • Taking Control of Conflict                                                        
  • Lighting the Fuse                                                                     
  • Defuse with “I” Statements                                                     
  • Defuse with Limits                                                                  
  • Defuse with Limits Activity                                                      
 
7.  All a Winner or Winner Take All
Negotiating Agreements
 
Typical Problems                                                                       
Seven Steps to Negotiating Agreements                                    
 
Exercises:                                                                                   
  • Negotiating Agreement Steps to Follow                                      
  • Reflective Listening Practice                                                        
  • Reflection Log                                                                               
  • Revised Parental Concerns                                                         
 
8.  Cooperation or Conflict
Co-Parenting is Forever
 
Parenting is Forever                                                                
Chapter Highlights                                                                    
Weekly Co-Parenting Meetings                                               
Time to Solve Problems                                                           
Dedication to the Future                                                          
Vision of the Future                                                                   
Negotiation Worksheet                                                             
Two Homes Communication Memos                                      
Co-Parenting is Forever Certificate                                        
 
Suggest Reading for Parents and Children
 





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