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Cooperative Parenting and Divorce:
A Parent Guide to Effective Co-Parenting
Table of Contents
(186 pages)
1. Child Focused or Out of Focus
Making a Commitment to Care
Learning to be Child Focused
Why Conflict Hurts
What’s the Cost?
Commitment to Caring Contract
A Child’s Reactions to Divorce
Exercises:
2. Plan For Peace or Tug of War
Allowing My Child to Love Both Parents
Forced to Choose (Loyalty Bind)
When a Child is Caught in the Middle
What If There Were Only One Parent?
Two Parents Are Better Than One
Positive Qualities of the Co-Parent
Through My Child’s Eyes
Allow Your Child to Love Both Parents
Keeping Your Child Out of the Middle
When Your Child is Manipulating
On the Receiving End of a Note
Your Child Refuses to Visit or Talk
Don’t Burden Your Child with Your Needs
Tips for Easing Transitions
Creating Two Homes
Exercises:
3.Letting Go or Holding On
Changing My Long-Term Role
Individual Role
Parenting Role
Child-Rearing Decisions Activity
Family Role
Letting Go
Divorce and Grief
Memory Activity
Forgiveness
Disengaging
Attached versus Detached
Engaged through Revenge
Engaged through Hope
Decision to Let Go
Letting-Go Rituals
Disengagement Contract
Exercises:
4. Make it Better or Keep it Bitter
Choosing My Personal Path
Realignment
Characteristics of a Business Relationship
Obstacles to Realignment
Assumptions
Expectations
Language
Refusal to Realign
“Poor Me”
Control
Revenge
Position vs Interest
STP-A Technique
Exercises:
5. Neither Fight Nor Take Flight
Managing My Anger
Activity: What Is Anger
Activity: Signs of Anger
Activity: My First Signs of Anger
Anger Triggers
Anger Progression
Expressions of Anger
Anger: Helpful or Hurtful
Constructive Uses of Anger
Constructive Use of Anger Activity
Destructive Uses of Anger
Anger is a Choice
What to Do to Manage Your Anger
Beliefs and Thoughts
Recognizing Beliefs Activity
Changing Distorted Beliefs
Escalating Triggers
Challenging Beliefs
Anger Dos and Don’ts
Anger and Children
Exercises:
6. Defuse or Light the Fuse
Taking Control of Conflict
Lighting the Fuse
Tone of Voice
Body Language
Words that Light Fires
Fueling the Fire
Your Hot Buttons Defensiveness
Counterattack
Fire Prevention
The 3 “Ws”
The 3 “Ps”
Avoid Playing with Matches
How to Defuse Conflict
Listen and Reflect
“I” Statements
Exercises:
7. All a Winner or Winner Take All
Negotiating Agreements
Typical Problems
Seven Steps to Negotiating Agreements
Exercises:
8. Cooperation or Conflict
Co-Parenting is Forever
Parenting is Forever
Chapter Highlights
Weekly Co-Parenting Meetings
Time to Solve Problems
Dedication to the Future
Vision of the Future
Negotiation Worksheet
Two Homes Communication Memos
Co-Parenting is Forever Certificate
Suggest Reading for Parents and Children
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